Matt Wrote This
Subscribe
Sign in
Home
Archive
About
I Want to Be A Band’s Go-To Guy
Please give me a call when you have a minute, Mr. Grohl.
Apr 24, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
I Want to Be A Band’s Go-To Guy
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Caked Like a Corn Dog
A seasonal entry, very relevent.
Apr 17, 2023
•
Matt Burns
1
Share this post
Caked Like a Corn Dog
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Expenses Unlimited
Peter hasn’t submitted his travel expense report. We’re forecasting a challenging quarter and every dollar must be spent carefully in order to keep the…
Apr 11, 2023
•
Matt Burns
1
Share this post
Expenses Unlimited
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Why I Wait for the Second Show
I have not missed a spring musical at my community’s high school in twenty-two years. Out of each show’s six scheduled performances, the best to attend…
Apr 3, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Why I Wait for the Second Show
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
The Things You Notice When You Start to Exercise
Push-ups on your bedroom floor. Twenty, then twenty-five, forty. Feel your muscles grow sore. New lines in your triceps and shoulders. Notice your…
Mar 27, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
The Things You Notice When You Start to Exercise
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Most Popular
View all
Expenses Unlimited
Apr 11, 2023
•
Matt Burns
1
Share this post
Expenses Unlimited
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Caked Like a Corn Dog
Apr 17, 2023
•
Matt Burns
1
Share this post
Caked Like a Corn Dog
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Pillsbury Bake-Off Recipe Contest Winner / Gutenberg’s Son
Aug 22, 2022
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Pillsbury Bake-Off Recipe Contest Winner / Gutenberg’s Son
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
The Surrogate / HIRING CHIEF OF SURGERY, 1881
Sep 12, 2022
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
The Surrogate / HIRING CHIEF OF SURGERY, 1881
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
An Update to the Office Dress Code / Cancer
Oct 3, 2022
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
An Update to the Office Dress Code / Cancer
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
NDA / Give the Audience What They Want
Sep 6, 2022
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
NDA / Give the Audience What They Want
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Latest
Top
Three at a Time, Four at a Time
I'm back. Unfortunately I have a job again so these will be less frequent, but god damn I'm back.
Mar 20, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Three at a Time, Four at a Time
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Miyazaki toon + Beat them to the Flame + A Letter from the Editor in Chief
Letter from me, the editor in chief: To my hundreds of thousands of subscribers, I’m working on some other stuff that takes up the time and incredibly…
Feb 6, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Miyazaki toon + Beat them to the Flame + A Letter from the Editor in Chief
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Memory Foam Mattress Topper + very tedious toon
shifting these to one a week, maybe less
Jan 30, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Memory Foam Mattress Topper + very tedious toon
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Recalling Our Argon Gas Insulated Double Hung Vinyl Windows
Just one today because due to insane viewer demand I'm becoming an animator again
Jan 23, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Recalling Our Argon Gas Insulated Double Hung Vinyl Windows
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Mr. Malone / Being a Rock Star is About Soul, Grit, and Screaming at the Goons Who Pack Envelopes in My Merch Warehouse
Today's the day I go viral and I'm so damn excited
Jan 17, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Mr. Malone / Being a Rock Star is About Soul, Grit, and Screaming at the Goons Who Pack Envelopes in My Merch Warehouse
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Bringing Back the Bean Counters / Home Birth / Ego Death
A triple-feature today. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
Jan 9, 2023
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Bringing Back the Bean Counters / Home Birth / Ego Death
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Ellis Island, 1921
Crowded and hot; dust on sweat. Enzio Sartucci inches forward, knowing the fate of his family will be decided when he reaches the front of the line…
Dec 19, 2022
•
Matt Burns
Share this post
Ellis Island, 1921
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
See all
Matt Wrote This
Gross short stories from the guy who wrote the YA novel SMOOTH. https://mattwrotethis.com
Subscribe
Matt Wrote This
Subscribe
About
Archive
Share this publication
Matt Wrote This
mattwrotethis.substack.com
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
Share
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Note
Other
This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please
turn on JavaScript
or unblock scripts
